Are You there????

Have a precious friend who is going through things I can’t comprehend. 

The pat answers come easily to my lips, even though every word is true:

God will hear

God is listening

God is working

It’s the pain.

Several times, over the years, that gut twisting, sharp heart pain that “never” seemed to go away  brought me to my knees, left me weak and curled in ball on the bedroom floor or holding tightly to my soaked pillow on the bed while screaming into it, “Are You there?”

For the onlooker it is easy to say “look up”, “just believe, just trust” and in our minds we know all this. But the pain, it draws our focus back to that dark, hurting place we want to flee. It locks us into the darkness and throws away the key. Are You there?

I loved the morphine pump by my bedside after my surgeries. The button never left my hand the first 24 hours post-op.  Each time I pushed that wonderful red button I would feel the numbness and drift off . . . a break in the cycle, a few minutes to let go and find relief.

In the pit of emotional pain – where is the red button?

I remember asking the Lord “why, Lord, is this path, my path?” His answer astounded me, “to keep you on your knees and in my arms!”

True, if, for these particular seasons in my life, would I be where I am in this spiritual journey? Would I draw close to Him as quickly as I do now if not for the “scar tissue” of my heart that keeps me bent over,closer to the ground, easier to fall on my knees before the Father?

Do we see the One holding us, no. We are wrapped in His arms tightly, our head buried deep into His chest, straining to hear His heartbeat – we can’t “see” Him because we are being held in the everlasting arms of our eternal Lover, our Bridegroom. Eventually He puts us down, holds us steady and we see His smile!

Are You there?

Where shall I go from your Spirit?

Or where shall I flee from your presence?

If I ascend to heaven, you are there!

If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!

 If I take the wings of the morning

and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,

 even there your hand shall lead me,

and your right hand shall hold me.

 If I say, “Surely the darkness shall cover me,

and the light about me be night,”

even the darkness is not dark to you;

the night is bright as the day,

for darkness is as light with you. 

Yes, in the pain He is there . . .His hand IS leading me and His right hand Is holding me.

 

hearing that still small voice . . .

Jesus spoke to His beloved disciples three specific times in Mark about His soon coming death. But they didn’t listen. They had other things on their minds, many other things, all revolved around self.

Mark 8:31 – Jesus explained completely the upcoming circumstances of His arrest, trial, death and resurrection. Details that were hard for the disciples to hear. Words turning their world upside down and inside out. Shock, denial, fear, definitely surprise, even anger followed the quiet words of the Savior! Totally missing the promise at the end of His speaking. Peter, ready for bear, stood up and said something like this. 

“No, Lord. You don’t mean that. Ummm . . . You can’t see the whole picture. You are here to be King! The better way is . . . I think this would be smarter if . . . Now, if you just take a minute and listen, this would be a better way of handling the situation . . .”

Jesus response? “Out of my sight, Satan, You do not have the mind of the things of God, but the things of men!”

Wow – Looking at our circumstances with our human reasoning blinds us to God’s heavenly perspective. Throws DOUBT of God’s Sovereignty  and purpose – DOUBT - Satan’s main tactic for temptation! 

Obviously, the still small voice is not heard over the loud, angry, bargaining protests. 

Am I listening or arguing when things don’t go “my” way, trouble comes, I’m blindsided . . . missing the promise in the “still small voice”?

Mark 9:31- 36, Jesus again reminds them of painful events to come, letting them know what will happen, finishing with the wonderful promise of His resurrection. Again, so wrapped up in self concerns they missed the point. Instead they focused on the fear, the what if’s and then the selfish concerns of who was the greatest . . .

Jesus, with words of love, knew their hearts and said’ “If anyone wants to be the first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all.” Double meaning – who could compare to His humility in coming from Glory, the King of Kings to be the Son of Man???? Yet, encouraging the spirit of humility in His followers . . .they still missed that quiet voice.

Do I, wrapped up in my life issues, my problems, become deaf to His “still small voice” of guidance along the path? Consumed with “me” instead of submitting to Him, His loving directions quietly spoken to my soul.

Mark 10: 33-34, Jesus again shares His heart about what is to happen ending with the promise of His resurrection. The disciples reaction? Move from fear to: 

“Ok, So we want you to do for us whatever we ask!” 

Whoa!!!! Seriously? Our Lord just said He was going to be betrayed, beaten, spit on and killed. Then by the power of God, would rise the third day . . .and they wanted Him to grant their desires, grant their wishes . . .

They missed His reason for being there, they passed over His purpose of coming to earth, they skimmed over the details and went to – “So because you are God will you grant us whatever we ask!” Wow, never heard the whispers of love, songs of mercy, poetry of grace, or felt undercurrents of power!

Don’ I?

In ignoring that “still small voice” and  take for granted HE IS GOD . . .Don’t I do this very same thing?

Lord, let me hear that “still small voice” in the quietness, in Your Presence!