brooding - rehashing and stewing

Brooding - rehashing and stewing over last night.

 I opened my mouth to share a very intelligent observation about Esther. (I attend a weekly bible study) Out poured words in no particular order. The few important words to tie the statement together flew away into the unknown before they could be spoken. Thankfully, from across the room, a fellow attendee picked up the thought and spoke eloquently, filling in the missing details.

So on my morning walk with my faithful companion I analyzed each second - tore apart every word to discover the reason of my ineptness. Freud would be proud of my scientific approach and dissection of the issue to form a brilliant conclusion.

Thoroughly depressed and disheartened I shuffled to the couch when I got home to begin my morning devotional time.

First I read:       

"God uses us to make know His wisdom

to the principalities and powers in the heavenly places."

 

"Not last night!" I mutter. What? I hear a chuckle . . .

 

Opening "Jesus Calling" I continue my morning routine:

 

"See things from My perspective . . ."

 

""When little things don't go as you hoped -

Look to Me lightheartedly and say

"OH WELL" '

 

I burst out laughing! I hear loving laughter joining me.

 

I "totally in my mind" blew it last night! The fact is, last night was not about me but about Him!

His greatness in working behind the scenes to accomplish His purpose and will using fallible and imperfect beings to fulfill His plan. This was the lesson He taught the principalities and powers in heavenly places last night!

 

A gentle reminder to NOT take life (me) so seriously. Not to waste our limited energy on the "what ifs" and the "if onlys". To lighten up and enjoy the moment. So join me in saying:

 

"OH WELL" often and

sharing a sweet smile with our King"

 



Lord, I am so afraid!

"Lord, I am so afraid! I can't shake off this heart tightness.This dread, this anticipation of a fearful thing I can't even name makes me weak.  The heaviness is weighing me down. Nightmares disturb my sleep! I am obsessing over the what ifs.  My stomach's tied in knots. It's hard to breath."

Past failures flood my mind. Stupid actions, careless words - "God, help me!" I cry!
"Where are You?  Are You listening? Are You  there? Do You care?"
 I pace back and forth. I can't sit any longer.

"NO! Stop it! These thoughts are wrong! I know who's whispering these words and I will not listen!"

Sitting down I open my Bible. Out falls a note of verses that I copied  last week. Reaching down I pick up the note and  read:

 

Sit still, my daughter.

Listen and be quiet;

do not fear or be fainthearted.

Be still and know that I am God.

Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him.

Do not fret . . .

My child, have no fear of bad news;

make your heart steadfast, trust in the Lord. 

Be secure in ME, have no fear!

You do not realize now what I am doing,

but later you will understand.

You shall remember that the Lord led you all the way. . .

to humble you and test you to reveal your heart.

I redeemed you

You are MINE!

Your light affliction is for but a moment.

The reward is beautiful and glorious.

Humble yourself, therefore, under the mighty hand of God,

that I may lift you up in due time.

Cast all you anxiety on Me

because I love you unconditionally!